Our Little Secret Read online

  “With unit seven. What aren’t you understanding?”

  I look down, not wanting to see the total look of pity on his face when I say this. “All of it.”

  He lifts my chin with his finger. “Hey, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Some people just don’t get math. It’s no big deal.” He lowers his hand and I regain the ability to speak.

  “That’s the second time you’ve said that to me today.”

  “What?”

  “It’s no big deal.”

  “Oh. I guess it’s my phrase of the day.” He smiles. God, why does he have to be Tori’s brother? Why does he have to be so damn irresistible? “So tangent, sine, and cosine…” He launches into an explanation of the unit, and I listen to every word. Not all of them process, though. I’m mostly staring at his mouth and enjoying his deep voice.

  “Does that make sense?” he asks.

  “Um, maybe.” Not at all! “Could you explain it one more time?” I feel like a major idiot. He’s going to think he’s wasting his time if I don’t start paying attention. This time I focus. I watch the page as he points to the different problems and shows me how to work them out. And things do start to make sense.

  “Here, try problem number six.” He hands me the pencil and our fingers touch. It’s only a small amount of physical contact, but it sends chills through me. I take a deep breath to focus on the problem. I don’t want to let Toby down. I go through the steps in my head before writing them in my notebook. Toby doesn’t say a word, just watches me work. I write the answer down and look at his face.

  “Is that wrong? Was I supposed to—?”

  “No.” He smiles. “That’s exactly right.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. Here, try another one.”

  I go through the rest of the page. I struggle on a few, but Toby patiently explains them to me. When I’m finished and convinced all my answers are now correct, I sit back and smile.

  “Feels good, doesn’t it?” He leans back, lacing his hands behind his head.

  “You’re a good teacher.”

  “Thanks.” He turns his head slightly to look at me, and I can’t help noticing how close his lips are to mine. “What?”

  “What do you mean ‘what?’” Oh God, am I drooling?

  “You have that look.”

  “What look?”

  “Like you have something on your mind.”

  “I have a lot on my mind thanks to you. I actually understand trig.” He doesn’t need to know about the other thoughts I’m having about him.

  “Good, you—” His cell rings. “Hang on a sec.” He answers the call. “Hello?” He pauses as the person on the other end talks. “Actually I’m kind of busy right now. Maybe tomorrow.” Another pause. “Okay, bye.”

  “I guess I should go.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “But you just said you’re busy. I’m guessing that means you have plans.”

  “I do. With you. We’re studying, remember?” He playfully nudges my shoulder with his.

  “Oh, do you think I should go over the homework again?”

  “No, you’ve got it. Besides, you need a break. Don’t want to overload you with tangents on the first day.”

  So he wants to hang out with me? I’m dying to, but is this a good idea? Hanging out with Toby will only make me like him more, and I have to get over this crush.

  “Are you two finished yet?” Tori walks into the room without even knocking.

  “Not yet,” Toby says before I can answer.

  “Well, hurry up. I need Becca’s help.”

  “With what?” Toby asks.

  “I want her to braid my wet hair so it’s wavy tomorrow. Not that it’s any of your business.”

  “I’ll be there in a few,” I say, suddenly feeling really self-conscious sitting this close to Toby, and on his bed.

  “Okay.” She shuts the door on her way out.

  Toby’s cell rings again. He checks the number and silences it.

  “Avoiding someone?”

  “Meredith. That was her two minutes ago. The girl is relentless.”

  I can’t stop myself. “Then why do you hang out with her so much? I kind of thought you liked her.”

  He shrugs. “She’s okay, just pushy sometimes. Besides, everyone expects me to be with someone like Meredith.”

  “So you’re dating her because people expect you to?” That’s really messed up.

  “No, we aren’t dating. We’re friends.”

  “Doesn’t seem like it.”

  “I told her not to hang all over me at school, but she says she’s like that with all her friends and it doesn’t mean anything.”

  “You do know that’s a total lie, right?” Toby’s too smart to fall for Meredith’s tricks.

  “I kind of figured that out. I’m trying to get her to back off, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Like I said, she’s not bad. I’m just not into her.”

  “Oh.” Of course he’d care about her feelings. He’s sweet.

  “What about you? You dating anyone?”

  “No,” I answer way too quickly. “Not right now.”

  “Good to know.”

  Good to know? What does that mean? Is it possible this crush isn’t one-sided?

  Tori bursts into the room again. “Okay, seriously, if Becca doesn’t braid my hair now, it will be too dry to really take to the waves.”

  “Guess I better go.” I gather my book and notebook, stuffing them into my bag. Toby slides off the bed and reaches for my hand. I take it, noticing Tori’s eyes on us. I let go the second my feet touch the carpet. As I walk past Toby’s desk, I spot Elvis and wave a finger at him. “Hi, little guy.” I turn to Toby. “Thanks for helping me.”

  “Any time.” He smiles, and all I can think about is how he said it’s good to know I’m not dating anyone.

  Chapter Four

  “Check out my hair,” Tori says, walking up to my locker. “How does it look?” She fluffs up the ends and smiles.

  “Great.”

  “Thanks again for braiding it for me. I was so worried it was too dry already because you and my brother took so long studying.”

  I try not to smile at the thought of how Toby wanted to hang out after we finished studying. “Sorry, but he really helped me. I’m actually looking forward to trig today, even if I do have detention after school thanks to Mr. Rollar.”

  “I’m still so proud of you for that.”

  “Proud enough to land yourself in detention with me? I’m already imagining me with all those delinquents. I’m not sure I’ll come out of there alive.”

  “Oh, please. Detention is nothing.”

  “Says the girl who never gets in trouble.” I shut my locker and look down the hall. Toby is talking to Ryder. Their fan club isn’t as big today. Now that basketball is over, the crowd will find some other team to rally around.

  Tori follows my gaze. “Please don’t tell me you have a thing for Ryder too. I don’t want to have to fight my best friend for him.”

  Tori would never fight me for a guy. She’s too good a friend to go after someone I like. “He’s definitely hot, but I wouldn’t go there. I know you like him.” I need to watch the way I look at Toby or Tori is going to figure out how I really feel about him.

  “Good. That’s a relief.” She loops her arm through mine, and we head to first period. “So, are you and Toby studying again tonight?”

  “I don’t know. We didn’t talk about it.” Mostly because Tori pulled me out of Toby’s room last night.

  “Oh. Weird. I heard him tell Meredith he couldn’t go out tonight because he had to tutor someone.”

  “Did he say tutor someone or did he mention my name?”

  She shrugs. “Does it matter?”

  I stop walking. “Yes. Meredith is my neighbor, and she hates me. If she finds out I’m the reason Toby blew her off two nights in a row she’ll make my life a living hell.”

  “True. I can’t rem
ember him saying your name though, so I don’t think you have to worry.”

  He didn’t say my name. Why? Does he not want Meredith to know he’s tutoring me? Is he embarrassed by me?

  I don’t see Toby for the rest of the day, and when it’s time for trig, I’m really nervous. Not only do I have to face Mr. Rollar after yesterday’s incident, but I’m most likely going to have to do some problems on the board.

  I keep my head down as I take my seat and get out my homework. I know all my answers and my work are correct, but I feel like I forgot everything Toby taught me last night. Mr. Rollar calls roll, not even looking up when he says my name. And when he walks around to check homework, he only glances at mine quickly. For once, I have every problem completed, and he doesn’t even care. Teachers. Doesn’t he realize he was torturing me yesterday? Maybe my comment was out of line, but so was he.

  He doesn’t even acknowledge me all period, and when there are only ten minutes left in class, I can’t take it anymore. I raise my hand.

  “Yes, Miss Daniels. Is there something you want?”

  “I’d like to work out the last problem.”

  “Really?” He doesn’t mask his surprise.

  “Really. May I?” I’m trying to keep my tone polite. I don’t want to wind up with another detention.

  He steps away from the white board. I carry my book and notebook, but when I walk by him, he grabs the notebook from my hands. “I’ll hold on to this.”

  “Why?” I stop and stare at him.

  “I see you have the correct answer, but I want to see how you arrived at it.”

  “I was planning to show my work.”

  “No.” He shakes his head. “You were planning to copy what you have written in your notebook. I’d rather see you work out the problem.”

  He thinks I copied someone else’s work! Unbelievable! “Fine.” I catch my bitchy tone before I get into more trouble. “I’d be happy to show you.” I force a smile.

  I take a deep breath as I walk to the board. Staring at the problem in the book, it looks completely foreign. No, I had this last night. I can do this. I just can’t let Rollar rattle me. I picture Toby explaining the problems to me, and go through all the steps, one by one. When I finish, I step back and look at Mr. Rollar. “Did I do it correctly?”

  “You tell me.” He puts my notebook back on my desk and folds his hands in front of him. “Is that how you did the homework last night?”

  He’s trying to get me to admit to cheating. “Yes.”

  “Then you have your answer.”

  I did it right. I smile and walk back to my seat. Mr. Rollar nods as I pass by him. “Your tutor said you’re doing well. I guess he’s right.”

  So Toby talked to him already. But then why would Rollar put me through that? Why make it sound like he thought I cheated? When the bell rang I held back, determined to find out. After the last student left, I walked up to Mr. Rollar’s desk.

  “Do you need something, Ms. Daniels?”

  “Yes. I need to know why you give me a hard time. I’m not trying to be disrespectful, but I feel like you don’t like me or something. You made it sound like I copied someone else’s homework, but then you admitted Toby told you about tutoring me. I don’t get it. I’m trying to improve my grade. I really am.”

  “I see that now, but yesterday you came in here with an almost blank piece of homework after you swore you were going to study and have the homework completed. Look at it from my perspective.” He leans back in his chair. “It seemed to me like you were just telling me what you thought I wanted to hear and that you had no intention of doing anything about your grade.”

  “I studied with Tori at first, but she couldn’t help me much. I did try, though. It’s frustrating. And so I got Toby to tutor me. He’s a really good teacher.”

  Mr. Rollar nods. “Then I suggest you ask him to keep working with you.” He stands up and grabs his briefcase. “You may just manage a good grade after all.” He smiles and walks out.

  It wasn’t the victory I was hoping for, but I’ll take it.

  I head to my locker and get my books before dreaded detention. I told Mom and Dad Tori and I were studying at the library after school. As long as Mr. Rollar and Vice Principal Davidson don’t call home, I’ll be fine. And considering this is my first detention ever, I don’t see why they would call.

  I take a seat in the second row by the door and open up my history book. I have to read a chapter and answer questions. Mindless work that I can do in here and save myself from having to lug the giant textbook home. Halfway through the second page of the reading, someone sits down next to me.

  “Using your time wisely, I see.”

  I look at Toby, my eyes widening. “What are you doing here? You couldn’t possibly have detention.”

  He leans back in his chair. “What can I say? I had a bad day yesterday.”

  “No way!” Vice Principal Davidson shoots me a look, and I lower my head, pretending to read from my history book again. After a couple minutes, I discreetly turn toward Toby. “What did you do?”

  “I was caught in the halls without a pass.”

  “When?”

  “Right after I left you.”

  “So, you’re here because of me?”

  “Don’t sweat it. I told you, everyone gets detention once in a while.”

  Something doesn’t add up. Toby isn’t the type to cut class. If he was in the hallway yesterday when I ran into him, he must have had a pass. “Why were you in the halls?”

  “I didn’t feel like listening to Mrs. Engleberg talk about research papers anymore.”

  Knowing Toby, his research paper was already done. “Right. That sounds just like you.”

  “Ooh, you don’t believe me.” He sits forward, looking up at Vice Principal Davidson before he continues. He definitely doesn’t want to get into trouble, which only shows how bogus his story is. “I’m a little hurt.”

  “Did you tell Meredith we’re studying tonight?” It sort of just slips out.

  “Tori tell you that?”

  I nod. “Did you tell Meredith you were studying with me, or did you just say you were tutoring someone?”

  “You worried Meredith won’t like you hanging out with me?”

  “We aren’t hanging out. You’re helping me with trig.”

  “Right.”

  This conversation just took a turn for the weird. Is he trying to tell me something?

  “Why don’t you and Meredith get along?” he asks. “You’re neighbors, right?”

  “Yeah, but she doesn’t think I’m up to her level.”

  He stifles a laugh.

  “Why is that so funny?”

  “Because Meredith isn’t up to the standard she thinks she is. I feel sort of bad for her. She’s dying to fit in, and she doesn’t even see that the people she hangs all over don’t really like her. They tolerate her.”

  “Is that what you do?”

  “She’s okay. I’d be friends with her, but that’s not what she wants, apparently.”

  “Apparently.” Davidson looks our way, so we stop talking. I read another two pages in my history book before I attempt conversation again. “You know, we’ve never talked like this before.”

  “That’s because Tori claimed you as her friend. Ever notice we don’t share anything?”

  “So you can’t be friends with her friends?” Well, that sucks for me. If Tori won’t let Toby be friends with me, she’ll definitely never approve of us dating.

  “I’ve never tried. She wants to keep the twin stuff to a minimum, so we hang with different crowds.”

  “But what about me? I mean, we’ve always interacted when I’m at your house. That’s not a problem for her, right? And she was the one to suggest you tutor me.”

  “That’s not the same as being friends.”

  “No, I guess it’s not.” My heart deflates. He’s saying we aren’t friends. I really am nothing but his sister’s best friend.

 
“Does that bother you?” He shifts closer in his seat.

  How do I answer that without him knowing I have a huge crush on him? “I think it’s weird. I mean, you’re twins. You’re bound to like some of the same people.”

  “I agree, but this is how Tori wants it.”

  “So you get no say in the matter? And that’s okay with you?”

  “I didn’t say that. It’s never really bothered me before.”

  “Before? It bothers you now?”

  He smiles. “You ask a lot of questions.”

  “Sorry. I don’t mean to pry. It’s none of my business.”

  He shrugs. “It kind of is.”

  “How?” Damn it, another question.

  He smiles again. “I get asked to tutor a lot.”

  “Oh. You’re too busy to keep tutoring me. That’s okay.” No, it’s not. I don’t want to lose that time with him. It’s probably the closest I’ll ever get to being with him.

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  This time I’m silent, waiting for him to explain.

  “I get asked to tutor a lot, but I’ve never said yes.”

  “Why not?” I cringe as another question comes out of my mouth.

  “I’m busy mostly. And a lot of people think if I tutor them, it gives them access to the crowd I hang out with.”

  “Like they’re using you for your popularity and your brain?”

  “Exactly.”

  “But you knew I wasn’t.”

  “Right. You really just wanted help in trig.”

  And a date would be nice. Man, I feel awful for having other motives that he knows nothing about.

  “If I thought you were like the others, I would’ve said no, suggested another tutor.”

  Except, I am like them. Aren’t I? No, I didn’t trick Toby. I wasn’t going to ask him to tutor me. Tori did it. Yes, I’m enjoying his company, but I didn’t trick him at all.

  “So, are you up for another tutoring session this evening?”

  “You sure you want to?” There, I gave him a way out. If we continue with this, it will be because he wants to. His decision.

  “Yeah. I had a lot of fun with you last night.”

  My stomach knots. “Me too.”

  “Good. Then I’ll see you at seven.” He gets up. “Now, I have to get out of here. I don’t really have detention.” He winks and walks out of the room without Vice Principal Davidson even looking his way.