It Was Always You (Love Chronicles Book 1) Read online

  I sip the drink again. “Very much.”

  Caleb smiles, pleased with himself. “And you?” He looks at Nate, but Nate’s focus is on me. “All right then. I have other customers to tend to.” Caleb walks away, but not before winking at me.

  Nate and I fall into our usual banter while finishing our drinks. Just as I’m laughing at something he said, the door opens, drawing my attention. Aaron walks in with some brunette on his arm. I focus on my drink instead of him, but Nate’s another story. He keeps eyeing Aaron over my shoulder, and I might be crazy, but I feel like Nate is using every opportunity to touch me—a hand on my arm, brushing my hair behind my shoulder.

  “I’m fine, you know. You don’t have to put on a show for him,” I finally say, unable to stand any more affection out of pity.

  “That obvious?” He finishes his second Tom Collins.

  “Probably just to me.” I bob one shoulder. “No worries.”

  “You don’t care that he’s moved on?” His eyebrows rise again.

  “Why would I? Aaron is an ass. I really don’t know what I ever saw in him. I think I wanted someone to call my boyfriend at the time, you know? I don’t even miss him. Not at all.” I take another sip of my drink, but I can see Aaron and his date in the mirror behind the bar. With his blond hair and thin build, he’s not my usual type. Not that I’ve ever let appearance stop me from dating someone. As much as I don’t miss Aaron, I am hurt that I meant so little to him. He drapes his arm across the brunette’s shoulder and whispers in her ear, which makes her laugh.

  “You’d be more convincing if you weren’t secretly spying on him.” Nate spins on his bar stool so he’s facing the mirror instead of me.

  “I feel like I should warn that girl that he’s...” I can’t find an adequate word to describe Aaron. I shake my head instead. “I need to use the restroom,” I say, getting up from the barstool.

  “Want me to walk you?” Nate starts to stand, but I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him.

  “I’m a big girl. I can handle walking past them.” I doubt they’ll even notice me anyway. I turn and start for the bathroom, my clutch purse in my hand. I grip it tighter as I walk by the table where Aaron is sitting. His date isn’t with him, though.

  He looks up when I pass by, but I quickly remove my phone from my purse and pretend to answer a call. Aaron knows my phone is usually set to vibrate, so he won’t question the fact that it didn’t ring. I keep my eyes ahead as I walk into the bathroom.

  The brunette is stepping out of the stall and toward the sinks. I lower the phone and put it back in my purse. She eyes me suspiciously.

  “Get hung up on, or did you use the ‘fake phone call’ trick to avoid a pervert trying to get your number?” She smiles sympathetically.

  “I guess you’ve done that, too,” I say, moving toward the mirrors and fixing my hair.

  “What woman hasn’t?” She laughs and dries her hands with a paper towel.

  I can’t stop the words from pouring out of my mouth. “That guy you’re with—Aaron—”

  “You know Aaron?” She tosses the paper towel in the garbage and turns to face me.

  “Unfortunately.” I change my tone so she doesn’t think I’m just a woman scorned. “We used to date. Very recently actually. He even called me the other day.”

  “We aren’t exactly exclusive. This is our second date,” she justifies, her tone never faltering.

  I hold my hand up. “No, don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not interested in Aaron at all. I...”

  “Want to warn me?” Her eyes narrow, and the friendliness is completely gone from her voice.

  Fine. If she wants to learn the hard way what Aaron’s really like, so be it. “You know what? No. You’re a grown woman. I’m sure you know what you’re doing. Have a nice night.” I turn and walk out as the woman’s cell rings. Before I can turn the corner, I hear Nate’s voice and stop short.

  “Stay the hell away from her. She doesn’t need you calling her or even looking at her.”

  “I always knew you had a thing for her.”

  Aaron? Why would Nate be talking to Aaron? I lean against the alcove wall, trying to hear better and hoping the shadows will keep me from being seen.

  “No matter how many times you two swore you were just friends, I knew it was complete bullshit. I bet you jumped the second I ended things with her.”

  “You don’t know crap,” Nate says.

  “Oh really? I saw the way you were touching her at the bar. Are you going to try to tell me you aren’t sleeping with her? That you never have?”

  “No. I never have.” From the sound of it, Nate must be clenching his jaw.

  Aaron laughs and takes a step back, which makes me retreat into the shadows of the alcove more. “Wow. So that’s it. This is one-sided. You’re in love with her and she doesn’t have a clue. How can you stand to be around her? That’s got to be a major kick in the balls day after day.”

  Aaron totally misread Nate’s attempts to console me at the bar. I know Nate was trying to make Aaron jealous. Nothing more.

  The bathroom door opens behind me, and Aaron’s date nearly walks into me. “What the hell?” She holds her hand to her heart. “Were you waiting for me?”

  “No.” I’m not about to tell her why I’m really here because after our conversation, she won’t understand why I was spying on her date and my best friend.

  She scoffs and walks past me.

  I follow—because what else am I supposed to do at this point? Nate’s eyes rise to mine, and Aaron’s gaze goes back and forth between the brunette and me. Then Aaron takes his date’s hand and leads her back to their table.

  “You ready? We don’t want to be late for our reservation,” Nate says, motioning toward the door.

  I look past him to the bar, where Caleb gives me a wave. I return it and head for the door, wishing I had finished my drink, because I could really use one right about now.

  Chapter Ten

  Nate

  Aria is quiet all through dinner, making me wonder if she overheard what Aaron and I were talking about. He called me out on my feelings for her. What if she’s freaked out because she knows the night meant more to me than I let on? I have to fix this.

  “Any plans for tomorrow?” I ask, taking the last bite of my chicken Alfredo, the cream sauce making my stomach churn. I put my fork down and push the plate away.

  “I was thinking of going shopping with Ashley. You?” She sips her Pinot Grigio and averts her eyes, reminding me of someone on a really bad first date.

  Time for damage control. “I was thinking of asking out that girl I told you about.”

  Her head jerks in my direction. “Seriously?”

  I nod. “I think I need to see if I can make it work.”

  She takes another sip of wine. “That’s good.”

  “I hate to harp on a sore subject, but are you okay with running into Aaron the way we did? You seem like something’s bothering you, and I can’t help thinking that’s it.” I lean forward, resting my forearms on the table.

  “His date was in the restroom with me. I really wanted to warn her about him, but she was such a...” She shakes her head and stares into her wine glass.

  “Bitch?” I supply the word she doesn’t want to say.

  “I think she thought I was trying to steal her man or something.” She rolls her eyes. “As if.” She lifts her wine glass, but it’s empty.

  I scan the restaurant for the waiter, spotting him near the bar. I raise my hand and gesture to Aria’s glass. He nods in response.

  “I was surprised he approached me. He seems like maybe he’s not quite over you,” I say, testing her to see if she really is over him.

  She scoffs. “He thought I wasn’t good enough for him because I was a staff writer. If he found out that’s all I am again now, he’d back off. Trust me.”

  The waiter comes over with another glass of wine for Aria and another Corona for me. “I thought you might like another
as well, sir,” he says, placing the glass in front of me. “On the house.”

  “Thank you.” I make a mental note to leave him a nice tip.

  “Dessert? We have a large dessert menu that I could bring you.” He looks back and forth between Aria and me.

  Aria shrugs. “I’m always in for a slice of cheesecake.”

  “Our specialty is strawberry swirl cheesecake,” the waiter says.

  “Two pieces, please,” I tell him.

  He nods and walks away, leaving me to pick up with the conversation about Aaron.

  “Are you annoyed Aaron wouldn’t want you back because of your position?”

  “How could I not be?” She cocks her head at me as she brings her wine to her lips. I watch her mouth part as she takes a sip. She waves her hand in the air, trying to encourage a response from me.

  I take a drink to buy myself some time to formulate an answer. “Why do you care what he thinks if you don’t have feelings for him anymore?”

  “Do you care what your mystery girl thinks of you?” Her fingers play with the stem of her wine glass, but her blue eyes are locked on mine.

  “Of course, but I admit I care about her. It’s different.” Very different.

  She leans back in her chair. “I know it shouldn’t matter, but I want him to regret ending the relationship. I want him to realize he was an ass.”

  “You want to win the breakup.” I smile, remembering the game we used to play in college whenever one of us broke up with someone. We’d figure out who won the breakup, the dumper or the dumpee.

  Her eyes sparkle, and I know she’s remembering it, too. “Do you remember Joel?”

  “How could I forget? When you won that writing contest and his piece didn’t even place in the top ten, he was furious. He broke up with you and went on a tirade. Everyone thought he’d lost it, and then he blew his chance at an internship with that paper in Chicago.”

  “And I landed the job with Priority News.”

  “The job he mocked but secretly applied for.” I laugh at the memory.

  “Yeah, but if he saw me at work this week, Joel would be the one laughing. Promoted and demoted within a matter of days.” She lets out a long breath and then indulges in more wine.

  “You fell victim to nepotism. It had nothing to do with talent or ability to do the job. You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.”

  After another long sip, she says, “New topic. Where are you taking Mystery Girl?”

  I can’t give too many details, one because I hate lying to her and two because it will make it easier to get caught lying. “Not sure yet. I have to see if she’s even up for it.”

  “You said she was gone.”

  “Two strawberry swirl cheesecakes,” the waiter says, placing the plates in front of us. “I took the liberty of also bringing you coffee.” He motions to the server standing behind him with two steaming cups.

  Aria shrugs and finishes the last of her wine, and I do the same with my Corona. Once the waiters are both gone, I dig in, hoping Aria will be too preoccupied with the cheesecake to grill me further.

  “This is delicious,” I say, motioning for her to try it.

  “Did Mystery Girl go out of town for a while or something?” she asks before taking a bite.

  I groan inwardly. “Not exactly. She sort of thinks we’re better off as friends.” That’s as close to the truth as I can get.

  “Why?” She covers her mouth, which is full of cheesecake, and laughs. “Sorry. This is good.”

  “Then eat. We don’t have to talk about this.”

  “I want to. You obviously care about her.” Her laughter dies, making me cock my head and wonder why.

  What the hell? I’m diving right in. “How much can I really care about her, considering”—I lean forward and whisper—“the way you and I made out?”

  “So you feel guilty.” It’s not a question.

  “Yes. I feel like I screwed things up, and not just with her.” My eyes rise to meet hers, even though my head is lowered to my plate.

  “We’re good. I promise. We were drunk.” She laughs, but it’s forced. “I told Ashley, and she thought we were becoming friends with benefits.”

  “You told Ashley?” Why would she do that?

  She forks off another bite of cheesecake. “It’s only Ashley. It’s not like she’ll tell anyone. Well, other than Neil.” She waves the fork in the air in a “whatever” gesture.

  “What did you say? About the friends with benefits part?” I hope I don’t sound too eager to hear her answer. I don’t want to be friends with benefits, but maybe if she’s open to that idea, she’ll be open to taking this further.

  She eats her cheesecake in silence, and I’m about to repeat the question when she puts down her fork and meets my gaze. “I’m not looking for that. You don’t have to worry. And I heard what Aaron said at Last Call. I know he’s way off base. Just like Ashley. You and I are best friends. I love that. And now that I think about it, Aaron wasn’t entirely wrong. I love you, Nate, and I know you love me. The problem is most people can’t understand that. They see the way we are with each other, and they assume we’re sleeping together. But the truth is, we are so much closer than that.”

  God, if she says we’re like siblings, I’m going to drive this fork through my eye socket.

  “Aaron never liked how close we were. I always suspected he was jealous of you.”

  Which is insane since he was the one sharing her bed. Touching her.

  “Tell you what,” I say, wanting to stop her from continuing the conversation. “No more talk of exes or future relationships.” I hold up my coffee mug. “To us. Aria and Nate, the way we’re supposed to be.”

  “To us.” She clinks her mug against mine and smiles at me, without a clue as to what I really mean.

  After we finish dessert, we head back to her place at my suggestion. I won’t lie and say I’m not hoping for a repeat of the other night. I am. All I’ve thought about since then is her lips. How full and pouty they are. The way her mango lip gloss tastes.

  “Movie or TV?” she asks, removing her sweater and tossing it on the arm of the couch.

  “TV is fine,” I say, grabbing two Corona Lights from the fridge. “Remind me to restock your beer supply. You’re getting low.” I spend more time at her place than mine now that she’s single, and I don’t want to be a freeloader.

  “Will do. Friends reruns okay with you?” She sits down on the couch, curling her legs up under her. She runs a hand through her hair, messing up her blond locks.

  “Sure.” I hand her a Corona and sit next to her, my arm draped along the back of the couch behind her. She leans her head against it and then turns and sniffs me.

  “Since when do you wear cologne?”

  “I’m not. It’s my shower gel.”

  She leans in and breathes deeply, making every hair on my body stand on end. “I like it.”

  God, do I like it that she’s smelling me. I tilt my head down, and when she looks up at me she turns bright red.

  “I’m sorry. I swear I’m going through withdrawal or something.” She takes a drink and faces the TV.

  “Withdrawal?” Is she talking about sex? “How so?”

  “It’s nothing. Forget it.”

  I let my arm fall across her shoulders and give her arm a squeeze. “No, tell me. I want to know.”

  She wiggles her toes, showing her nerves. “Guy smell. Not sweaty or ‘in need of a shower,’ but the freshly showered and ‘ready to face the world’ smell.” She faces me again. “That’s what you smell like right now.”

  “Does it remind you of Aaron?” If so, I’m changing shower gels.

  She shakes her head and starts playing with the hem of her dress. “No. Not really.”

  She doesn’t offer any more, and I let it go. We sit in silence, watching TV and laughing at the jokes we know so well we could recite the lines for the cast. In the episode, Joey is secretly in love with Rachel. He tries to te
ll himself he’s not, but as soon as he sees her he refers to her as his girlfriend in his mind. I know how he feels. I’m torn between my friend Aria and wanting her to be my girlfriend Aria.

  We each down three more Coronas, leaving me more buzzed than I’d like, considering I have to drive home.

  Aria eyes me as I sit forward, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. “You okay?” she asks, rubbing a hand in circles on my back. Her touch is electric against the thin material of my dress shirt.

  I turn my head to face her. “I’m not sure I should drive.”

  “You can crash here.” Her hand stills on my back, but she doesn’t remove it. Maybe it’s the Corona talking—I lost count of how many I’ve had between the restaurant and here—but I swear she’s giving me that look again. The one she had last night before she kissed me.

  “Here on your couch?” I ask, turning slightly to face her.

  “Wherever you’re comfortable.” Her voice is soft and low.

  “You’re drunk again.” In the years I’ve known her, she hasn’t been drunk often. Now it’s been twice in two nights. I hope it’s really over the job and not Aaron.

  “Maybe.” She leans closer to me, resting her leg against mine. She places her hand on my thigh and starts rubbing up and down, from my knee to almost the top of my quad.

  “What are you doing, Aria?”

  “Want another drink? I mean, if you’re staying, it’s not a problem.”

  “Are you trying to get me drunk off my ass?” Does she think that’s why I kissed her last night? That I wouldn’t kiss her otherwise?

  She starts to stand, but when she takes a step around me, her leg tangles with mine and she falls on top of me.

  “Hey there,” I say, my hands on her waist.

  She smiles, her face inches from mine. “Hey.” She makes no effort to get up. Instead, she seems to be pressing her weight down on my lap.

  “I’m not a saint, so if you want me to be the good guy, you’re going to need to get off my lap.” Despite my words, I don’t loosen my grip on her.

  She shimmies a bit, and my body responds, which makes her eyes widen. “I think I’m starting to like Ashley’s idea,” she says.